all i can say is that im truly sorry... i take back everything i said in the last journal... i feel sick... i just.. i cant even type... im so damn sorry... why do you hat em e katie? i never talked about you behinf you back i never made fun of you and meant it... scince weve know each other ive always been there for support... and now im the one who needs it.. im seriously having a mental breakdown.... just going insane... so please please please.... im sorry

she used me. i cant bielieve it. my best friend. or so i thought... words cant des- fuck that. i can say it. this si the true side of it. this is for katie and mckenzie. i felt sorry for her. my nerve. i dont know really. the nce side of me took over and went to the pity side for help. its a lame escuse but whatever. i beat myself up over tis thinking i was in the worng. but i just relized. she used me. she pretended to liek me tryed to steal me so she could get back at mckenzie. who does that. i wrote about her on my website. i described her as one of the nice girls. you know. the ones who give a shit about you. they actually care. true friends. i was wrong. im not angry. i.. dont know how to be angry. the closest ive gotten to getting angry is frusterated. im more. shocked. shocked that katie could work up the nerve to use me. me. i thought i matterd to her. but i guess not. i know mckenzie will think im over reacting. and katie wont understand. i see things differently. not literally. but in my minds perspective. i trust everyone. to date no ones lost my trust for more that 5 minutes. katie. im sorry to say this.. youve lost my trust and friendship forever. i know exactly how you might feel about this. that is if you care now more that you did when you used me. ive been thrugh this. ive lost friends. but not for using them. they just became cool. they left me. left me to die. but i am the error of humans. i trust to much. love to much. care to much. and now im starting to relize it. over the past 12 years i have been taken advantage of in ways no one can desrie. and then i was made to think that i was the devious one. i could have, would have been this way for ever. but now that so many people have abused what i agve them im not giving them it anymore. katie. youve sankin very low. i thought more of you. you call yourself a christian. i cant see why anymore. i trusted you with my friendship, my feelings. but you used them. you used me. i cant bielive it. she used me. i cant even type right im so shocked.

mckenzie. i love you. more than anything.

ive truly rielized that. and the only thing i whant more than you is to wkae up one day with you lying next to me. ill wlak out side and smell fresh air. ill turn and look at the small but homy thre story coffeshop/ home weve built forourselves. ill smile and go insaide to start another one of the many wonderous days of my life scince i met you. i could have written that better. but itd have no love. i hope someone will see the amount ive put into this thought. i can.

mood.- i feel like a star.
listening.to.- kung fu fighting - by whoever sang that...
working.on.- journal
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news.-
well heres the crapola. today im going to go to some interview meeting thing to see if i can go to this school. the thing is it started two days ago so if i get in ill start rite away. also... wahhh. i ahve to get my hair cut! tear tear. maybe i can bleach it or dye it black... anywho.. well my guinea pig is ok. my friend katies doing good cept that she broke off her friendship with m,y girlfriend who just happens to be neglecting me... my life suks.. well not really.. wait yeah it does..
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art.-
commisons.
never. i cant take others money for something i'd gladly do fro free. if i need money you can buy my prints... as soon as i get a print account.
requests.
ill do animations, drawings, coloring, anything really, but im pretty good at avatars.
trades.
ill trade for sure. trades sound fun. hehe.
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ART.-
well ive finally found some actionscript to tear apart so i can add my own little bits to make my game... its gonna be cool. ill tell you about it. well basicly i got pissed that i couldnt beat a certain level on the allies campain in comand and conquor red alert 2. so i got thinking. now i have this awsoem idea to make a game. well obviously. but whats cool is that your and allied g.i. and you get to shoot at communist conscripts. but the cool part is that they try and jump away from you and stuff... scince i suk at actionscript is just gonna be no pints or anything. but itll be a nice stress reiliefe game with lots of blood.
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member.of-

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friends.-

mood.- i feel like a star.
listening.to.- smells like teen spirit-nirvana
working.on.- animation backrounds.
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news.-
news with me. hmm. well ive been working on my website but i posted the link on my userpage anyways just so you can see the progress. im going to put it in text but then im going to redo it in flash. maybe when i get one thousand pageviews. hmm. like that'll ever happen. anywho. my guinea pig elizibith 8her names spelt that way8 is doing fine. shes getting pretty darn fat. shes somewhere around 8 months old. my best friend katie is also doing well. shes on a roll with her poems. her website is coming along nicely too. i also almost finnished her avatar. i think she needs a better one. im almost out of debt with my allowence. hey im twelve what can i do? 6 weeks ago i used up 7 and a half weeks of allowence in advanced. thats something like 80 bucks. girls cost way too much. but now im saving up for a new computer, a deviant art subscription, and maybe a prints account. well for now thats all ... um... yeah.
++++++++++++++++++++
art.-
commisons.
never. i cant take others money for something i'd gladly do fro free. if i need money you can buy my prints... as soon as i get a print account.
requests.
ill do animations, drawings, coloring, anything really, but im pretty good at avatars.
trades.
ill trade for sure. trades sound fun. hehe.
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ART.- ok now for actual art news. ive got alot going on right now. i have to work on a picture for a contest. its for the teen titans club. ive still only gotten my idea down. i havent even sketched it. also i have to work on posters, trailers, and backrounds among other things for my animation series- billy square. and on top of that i have to keep up with friends, my girlfriend, parents, and tons of other crap. oh. and i have to start at least one fan club for somthing or another. then i have rennisaunce art class on tuesdays, so i dont get home till nine. an artists life is hectic but i love it.
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member.of-
*iconteentitans*
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friends.-
*iconr0bbi3* *iconradiatedstarr* *iconmoon-reflected* *iconkendelwhore*

if you havent read my first journal then you should. [link]
ok then. where was i. ah yes. well i havnt a name for the show. also ill be submitting character sketches soon. just gotta fix this retarted scanner. i saved it from abortion. hehehe. im a jackass. anywho. i just spent the last five minutes trying to think of something to say. mmm i smell something yummy. well. i'll be submitting a couple of journals that have more dignified information about me. and then ill work on a format for my journals. so thatll be something for my zero fans to look forward to. why am i even writing this journal. sheesh. no one gonna read it. oh well. oh! i just remeberd some random information. first of all ill need voices for my animations so anyone who would like to participate? ill put something in chat as well. and the last bit of information you'll hear from me today is. all of my journals will be written on odd numberd days and three days ago i got some really cool jeans, a trucker hat, a studded belt, and an awsome brown and grey baseall jearsey. thats al-
we are sorry but this connection has been served please enter five more cents to continue. *chink*
god dam- woops. no lords name in vain. ok then. you all now know that im talkative. or rather typeative. ill stop now.